Learning

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I shouldn’t have told my friends that I was studying psychology and becoming a counselor.

Now all they do is come to with issues as if I know how to solve them. That is the beauty of therapy. I don’t have the answers. I will help guide you to the answers that you already know. Also. I am not a professional. Yet. But I know enough how to point them in the right direction. And them being my friends I want to help them because I care. This is what I want to do for a living.

And I am seeing a therapist myself. For me to be able to help others I need to help myself. And I can’t bring myself to admit this to anyone because its for me and me alone. I am not ashamed of seeing my therapist I am seeing progress. But I want to help those I care about too but I have to think about ethical issues in the future as well. There are boundaries I cannot allow to slip just because they are “friends.” or family and I need to remember this for my future.

I get upset when someone comes to me with issues about addiction and my opinions and such. Its touchy subject on number of reasons. First this town that I grew up in is not what it was. My whole family was born and raised here and its crumbling at my feet as I type this. Its heart breaking. I have seen beautiful photos that my own Grandfather took of what this place used to look it and it was breath taking. Like how can society destroy this?! Drugs have overtaken my town and it has taken people I know away from me and their families. I have dealt my hand into substance abuse and I can admit that I was stupid, ignorant and wrong. I stopped. I stopped because I knew what I was doing was wrong. I was hurting myself, and I was hurting those around me. But they didn’t know what I was doing and that alone was dangerous enough for me to be aware of my actions. That is another reason why I decided to go back to school to make a difference. I have my days but I am still fighting my ED and I am working on healing myself. I know that I can’t fix everyone. That is not how this works. You win some and you lose.

I mean I am not upset my friends come and talk to me, I am just worried that they think I know everything when I don’t how will I ever know everything?! I wont! Even if I do become a professional.

I am just trying to be a good person all around.

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Opinions are like assholes, we all have one. Just shit out of yours.

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In the year 2015 I have seen a lot of things myself grow in the last 20 years. I am 26 years old and I feel utterly nervous for the future children that are being born as of right now.

We are living in a world that controlled by mass media, social networks and all the high powers of the internet. Parents throw a Kindle or a tablet in font of their faces, hand them cell phones to play with while shopping just to shut them up. Being entertained is one thing but to really close their mind to reality is scary. Children today are growing up to feel like they are too privileged to listen to authority, and take orders and be snarky an utterly rude to others while they hide behind their screens being the tough kid. All words and no verbal speech.Threaten to take away the wifi and see a major meltdown. What have we done? why is this being allowed here today?

Also having an opinion or view that is different then someone else and sharing it on a social media site will send so many people into a war fest that they think they have won the epic battle with words while in reality it is bashing others and not taking into consideration that, that other person has their right to feel what they did in the first place. Everyone has an opinion just like an asshole. But how about we let that person shit out what they want too with out you taking a fucking laxative? As I said we are hiding behind computer screens and cellphone thinking that nothing will touch you.

Growing up I was known as the person that always spoke their mind in a class room and had heated discussions with teachers which I gained some respect from fellow classmates. Now in 2015 I have been told I am cold heartless person for seeing a view on something aside from others and I am in the wrong. What is the difference from my views 10 years ago till now? Well here it is. 10 years is a long time and I have grown and matured enough to see the side of an argument as well as to think I have to write a 20 page essay in why I feel the way that I feel about something with a reference page and a cliff note attachment. People become so angry with you when you are not on the same page. I hate to pop your bubble but not everyone in this world is going to agree with you on every single thing you believe in.

I am all for a good debate really, but the fact that I am belittled and called a sad human being from a person who themselves is not the best one to be casting stones ( am being very nice to what I have verbally said to myself.) in the first place. It makes me shutter to think that these people think that they are the better ones than me because they used their words and tried talking a big game to me. Ok use all the words you want against me that is fine. Really. I don’t mind at all. I mind that you think that you are better than me because your view is better than mine. Not the case. Humans will always have augments  over the most petty things in life. So why stop now?

I am no longer using Facebook to share something that I have a belief in or something that I stand with. Why? because what is the point? I know how I feel about something and that is really is all that matters. I was whimsy and negligence and falling into that sewer of social media. I let my guard down and for that I am ashamed for. I am post here tonight because its a place that I can just share thoughts and feelings as an adult. And for Christ sake freaking spell check knows that Facebook is capsized. What is going on in this world?!

There really needs to be a break from all of this mass media and social networking. People have to make a date on their calendars to just away away put away their cellphones and tablets and be one with themselves. I told my boyfriend that we should both deactivate our accounts for a while when he is back from Antarctica and focus on what is important, us, our future and working, me finish up my second degree (why yes I added that in because of those who bashed me before whom never even obtained ONE this is a little jab at you for feeling utterly intelligent and making me feel like a horrible person and second guessing my own personal thoughts. Hows that for being a complete asshole?) and maybe planning a wedding and kids. Stuff that doesn’t have to involve the internet for once.

We are really missing the real aspects of communication with one another.

So news flash. I have an asshole. You have an asshole.

Just shit out of yours ok?