I just kind of want to hide away today. Trying to figure out college stuff and its come down to I don’t want to go school for Justice of Administration there are classes there that I don’t want to take or waste my time on and DeVry is being douchy about the whole thing. I am not interested ok just fucking leave me alone.
Drank an entire bottle of wine and had two big glasses full of Whiskey last night. Slept like a rock and it was nice to fall asleep with a “clear mind” I hate lying there thinking about everything and then I want to talk to my boyfriend about everything but he doesn’t want to talk he wants to sleep. I have an issue when its bedtime for me its not bed time its LET ME GET ALL OF MY FEELINGS OUT IN THE OPEN NOW BECUASE WE ARE ALONE AND ITS DARK. Is that weird? Is that normal to want to just talk lying down in the dark and get things out in the open? I think its the only time I can get my boyfriends full attention and its tedious during the day he is either distracted by tv, computer or phone and if we argue that is what he does. I feel that when we get in to the bedroom its OUR time. Its like a…guidance counselor office.
Back to the school thing. I have found that SNHU has a wonderful psychology program(s) that I am very interested in. So I have been emailing with an admissions lady asking her questions about getting my BA in Psychology with Mental Health. What are my goals? What does it look like for me in the work field? You know these are important and if I am going to do this, I want to make sure everything is perfect for when I go back to school. I want to be focused and very dedicated to my studies this time and not fuck off like I did with my paralegal. I think getting my BA is a good step towards what I want to after.
August 25 is when I would start hmmmm I wonder if that is really doable!
So not like I have a lot going on for me personally.
So I had it in my head today that applying to a college again was the best thing I can add to my plate of fucking shit. I keep shoving it down my throat, choking and no one is there to keep me level headed….go me right? I got up this morning all ready to go after I had fallen back asleep watching 2 episodes of season two of Hannibal got dressed and headed down in to the basement with coffee in hand, laptop and confusion mixed in with anxiety as I had to figure out how I was going to pack all of my shit spend a boat load of money and what not. So from 9-12:30 I was down there drinking coffee, facebooking, watching documentaries on Hulu.com as I was trying to get my shit into a huge big box. Only after I realized a lot of the cloths I had I wasn’t going to miss if I donated it to Goodwill…so I had to go through it again and I have donated a lot things, even books which is shocking. When I cam up for a pee break and potentially some lunch I started looking at colleges again. The Aunt was trying to figure out what she wanted for flooring so I was multitasking, researching and looking at wood flooring. I tried to talk to my old college about things but they just wanted me to start with my fasfa and apply this and that this and that. When I got a phone call from an advisor from DeVry I was nervous because I thought they were going to give me a whole fucking rigmarole again but no…this time they actually talked to me, they wanted to get to know me and know me, and see where I was headed. We talked about my degree, and we managed to narrow down some things. I originally wanted to go back for Psychology because I want to help people as my career. And Paralegal just wasn’t doing it for me. She suggested Justice of Administration with a concentration in Emergency Management. I get to help people in a psychological manner during like natural disaster’s such as hurricane’s, flooding, shootings, etc. I really want to see myself working in an Emergency room talking with people who have tried suicide, drug addictions, shooting victims etc. I can see myself being that person, someone they can talk too, I am an outsider but I care. Shit I can work in Hostage situations working with the families of victims that are being held hostage.
Emergency Management Courses
The Justice Administration degree program with a specialization in Emergency Management may include these career-focused courses:
Emergency Management – This course deals with emergency or disaster risk mitigation, preparedness, response, and recovery. Topics include managing complex organizations and emergency decision-making, interagency cooperation, risk assessment, planning preparations, humanitarian interventions, and recovery challenges.
Disaster Response – Students in this course explore various types and phases of disasters, responses that are planned or improvised, and problem avoidance during disasters. Urgent care of disaster victims, search and rescue, dealing with fatalities, and models of overall recovery operations are examined.
Emergency Planning – In this course, which explores planning within the overall emergency management field and its relationship to mitigation planning, the purpose, principles, processes, and resource aspects of planning are considered for planning teams and organizations, and communication of plans.
Terrorism in Emergency Management – Examining emergency management considerations when terrorist behavior or acts are a factor, this course looks at threats, consequences, and responses, with an interagency perspective, through the life cycle of emergency management, from preparedness and planning to long-term recovery.
Technology in Emergency Management – In this course, students learn to use technology in emergency planning, response, recovery, and mitigation efforts, as well as key elements that must be in place for technology to enhance the emergency management process. Operational problems and recovery are analyzed.
Crisis Intervention – This course explores approaches to intervening in traumatic or dangerous social events precipitated by groups, individuals, or environmental factors, with consequences for individuals or groups. Decision-making under time limitations and uncertainty is considered.
there that sums it up! I am looking forward to a new challenge and I love college. I love learning. And as my boyfriend is going to Antartica this will keep be focused and busy working and studying. DeVry also you don’t have to sit in classes either you do your own thing, post, and submit things and take tests at certain times. I think I can manage that and still do my thing. The hell with it I guess right? I have no money so lets keep adding to the issue. I tried to talk to my boyfriend about it but he didn’t seem interested in my higher learning program. I am hoping since he is at work he will talk to me later and not be a grump about it. If he doesn’t want to talk to me then that will really hurt my feelings I did a lot of research today about it too. He told me to go for it in the first place I would hate to think that he just really doesn’t care. I also have been feeling lately that he is trying to distance himself from me because he is going away. I just found out yesterday that we wont be able to video chat because the connection there isn’t good just being able to send emails and facebook. I had to walk away we were at Cabla’s I needed to decompress the whole thought of NOT seeing him for 6 fucking months. NOT SEEING HIM REALLY ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME JUST SHOOT ME IN THE FACE.
I am also very tired from overthinking and now packing, and now school maybe starting September 1. I need a god damn adult at times.