Merry Christmas

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So a little over three months since I have lasted posted huh?

So what can happen in three whole months? A lot. Which I am sure everyone is aware themselves from personal experience. I feel as though that my life was dealt this hand for a reason. Because there is someone that is trying to push me over the edge. For what reason? Is there an evil power out there that enjoys watching some people just cave in and just lose themselves to life? Can there really be a higher power so narcissistic enough to push and control someone enough to make them break.

I found out that my boyfriend of 6 years had been cheating on me for 5 years with his brother’s girlfriend. Mind you he said it was over then tries to make it up to me by buying me very expensive gifts to tell me that he loved me and was sorry and couldn’t stand the thought of not having me in his life etc. RIGHT.

What have I been doing? Drinking. Lots of it. And just about everything else that one can think of.. Trying to fully numb an ache that I had been trying to avoid for years living a nightmare that is actually is really true is hard to just let go. I am still in utter shock and in pain about the whole thing.

So in shock that I my pain is being numbed by someone else.

Have it boyfriend. Try me.