I was trying to think of something positive to blog about today. So I am just reflecting on my day so far.
I woke up in a panic as usually, since my boyfriend gets up pretty early for work I am left alone with my own mental devices and fall back into a coma with weird dreams of me walking into a school looking for someone. Don’t know who I was looking for but I guess it was pretty damned important. Woke up again because I didn’t want to sleep in too late. Also mostly because I can sleep till noon time without feeling guilty of my lazy-ass doing so. But since my boyfriend and I are staying with his Aunt and Uncle who are early risers I didn’t want to be that girl that they whisper about being lazy. I got up around 9 had my morning coffee, checked my email for jobs, then got dressed to run some errands with the Aunt. Its always nice getting out of the house you know? We went to Goodwill to donate items and other things when all of a sudden we had to go home because the truck told us that there was low tire pressure. Oh…damn. Well then off we went to check the tire pressure at the homestead. Yes one tire was in-fact low so we waited a little while to see if it was going to get worse. 45 minutes later to the hour the Aunt said we were waiting (close enough.) She checked the tire again and it was still the same. So we made the trip to the grocery store pretty damned fast. We were going to go to the mall so she could get her wedding bands cleaned but she didn’t want to risk it. I agreed because that would have been a hell of a walk back to the house if the tire was flat. So tonight the Uncle will hopefully fix the tire.
Tomorrow I have a job interview with the local zoo and I am sick to my stomach about it. I have a feeling I have the job but its only going to pay 12 an hour and I have to work weekends. Lame but at this point I really don’t care because I need money.
So now just sitting in the kitchen looking up horror things. I am not allowing my weight bother me today. I feel stupid about being so depressed yesterday about the whole thing. I know I have even said that everyone should love themselves. But having an eating disorder is so hard. Sometimes I feel like I can beat this on my own but really I can’t. Someday. Someday I will be able to control it.